Saturday, September 26, 2009

I know that God is with Chandler

You know how you plan and plan something, and it still will not go as you planned.. This was not the case with Chandler. I know that God was all way with us, helping us every moment and every step..
Since July I was told that I can have Chandler any time, so I had my hospital bag packed and I brought a lot of towels and clothes to change in case my water brakes at work. But it did not happen, because God knew that it was not a time..
My husband Tom had a big day of new stadium opening at the University he works at on September 12, so we were nervous that Chandler will come around this day, and he did not..
On Friday, September 11, my Mom told us that she has to be with us during the delivery, so she left Russia on Saturday to be here on Monday. On Monday, first time during whole pregnancy, I had a bad pain on my left side, and I was thinking that Chandler is coming. I prayed God to give me few more hours so my Mom could be here (she was flying in at 9.40 pm), and he did! Pain went away and did not come back until next morning..
My Mom told me that she had never had such a wonderful trip, train, planes everything was on time, not to mention that she could buy tickets day before her departure and all of them were available and she had great sits. Plane came to Cleveland hour earlier and Tom was already there! She could fall a sleep at 11.00 pm and woke up at 8.0o am as she was living with us for a while (sometimes time change adjustment takes about a week or so). So by Wednesday, she was all rested and ready to meet her first Grandson!
We came to the hospital 2 hours before the c-section as we were told. Nurse told us that they are never on time because there is always some emergency c-section. But, you know what, they were on time!
Chandler was such and joy and Miracle! I told you how many things he accomplished and give us every opportunity to enjoy him!
Tom and I were nervous about the day of funeral (September 24). Tom planned everything, I was not participating in any arrangements, we did discuss it at home but I trusted him with everything! And you know what, we had the most beautiful service!
They were calling for rain this day. I was upset about it because we had a service in the cemetery. But rain did not come! We had cloudy and very warm and pleasant day! We had about 70 -80 people during the service: family, friends, co-workers. Our photographer sent us Chandler's pictures, so we had a chance to print one out so everyone could see how beautiful our son is! Tom opened the ceremony and he said the most wonderful speech Father can tell his Son. He had to stop few times because of tears and it made is even more sensitive and precious. He had a dream after Chandler died that he is at the end of the tunnel and his Mom (she passed away on April 22, 2008) was waiting for him and handsome man staying next to her. Tom did not know who this man was but his Mom told him that this is our Son Chandler. She told him that Chandler will take him further. Tom said that he woke up so happy because he knows that that one day we will meet our son again. He woke me up and told me this story..
After Tom finished his speech, our Pastor took guitar and played the most beautiful song Becca sent me - Precious Child. As soon as I heard this Son, I could not even imaging any other song for Chandler's funeral. Tom told Pastor about this song two nights before the funeral and he managed to learn it on his guitar!! He added few words to make it for Chandler and it was so wonderful that I could not stop crying!! He said that he will record it for me on CD, so I will post it as soon as I have it.
All together, Chandler's funeral was just beautiful. Yes, it was a sad day for us, as his parents, but it was beautiful at the same time.
One thing I forgot to mention is how many cards and flowers we got. I got cards from some people from work I hardly know. I work for multinational company, so my boss told me that people from many different countries called and ask him to forward they sympathies. I am so touched..
Thanks all of you for your support and prayers! I truly believe that all of you helped us during this difficult time and we really appreciate it.
I love you all!
P.S. This is another picture I adore of Chandler. I feel like he is looking right at my eyes and trying to tell me something!


  1. Chandler is precious!

    It is amazing how God is really there in the midst of life's hardest days. Thank you for this post.


  2. Everything went according to God's plan. It sounds like it was a lovely ceremony. Chandler is so blessed to have such wonderful parents.

  3. Lena,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son, Chandler. I so enjoyed looking over the pictures, one by one, gazing at his sweet face and expressions. I am so sorry for your loss and also so encouraged with your strength at this incredibly sad time. Holding tightly to our God is the only way you will endure such pain. And you are already doing so.

    I was wondering if you decided to donate your milk to the bank? I did that after Molly died and it was the best thing for me to do. I think it helped me get out of bed in the morning and it gave me purpose. I only pumped for 1 month, and that was plenty. Do you have to go back to work right away?

    Feel free to email me with your response:

    I would love to connect with you more.

    May God bless you as you lean upon Him in these days.

    Much love,