Pictures of Chandler's cousin Tanya

What is new with Kemp family

It was a while since I posted anything in my blog. I cannot say that I was extremely busy, just did not feel like sitting down and writing about what is going on.

Tom and I are doing ok. We are sure that Chandler is going good with his family in Heaven. We miss him a lot here. His 5 months anniversary was not easy for us. Tom and I were talking how Chandler could be sitting, smiling, making different noises, laughing, crying and doing all things baby his age would do. But instead it is very quiet and lonely in our house. (It was busy and fun just a month ago here, but I will get back to it in a moment).
I joined Support group at Children's Hospital. I was not sure if I want to do it, I was worried that it will freak me out. But I am glad I did. Parents I met there are wonderful and each one of them has an Angel in the Heaven who left too soon. We are so grateful to have Children's Hospital in our city. People there really care and are ready to help any time we need them.
Since November we had three services for children who died. One right before Christmas at Children's', one in Akron Chapel and one just a month ago at Children's for children who died within last 6 months. It is very hard to join these type of services but it make me feel closer to my son.
Chandler's stone is ready. Tom and I had a chance to see it a month ago. It is just beautiful and we do not have words to describe how happy we are that it turned to be the way we wanted it to be!
Ok, just a month ago, my six years old (who turned seven) niece was visiting us from Russia. It was a first time Tom and Tanya (niece) met and I should tell you, my husband is in love. He wanted this girl to stay with us so bad, two of them were inseparable! (my brother passed away 2 years ago, so she really misses a Man in the family which is actually really sad..) But we had the best time! Tanya is full of joy and happiness! We took her and her mom to Disney and I can tell that I sow new Disney thru Tanya's eyes! Tanya's favorite story is about Snow White. She was watching it three times a day (I am no kidding) while she was here. Now, she tells everyone, that Uncle Tom is the Prince and she is the Princess (somehow, I am the step mother, but I don't really care because I can see how wonderful father Tom is going to be and just thinking about it is making me happy!)
I guess this is all what is going on this Kemp's family. Tom is really busy at work and his teaching. I am busy at work too, plus I took some extra responsibilities at IMA just to stay busy.
I hope that you are all doing well! I follow all your blogs and thinking about all of you all the time. Sorry that I am in hiding lately..

God Bless you!

Lena

Article about Chandler

I just found out that article about Memorials of Angels and Chandler was posted on November 1, 2009. Tom told me that some newspaper asked him to send a picture of us and asked him a couple of questions, but I did not expect it to be such a big and nice article. (The only thing which is not accurate is $17,000 expense, which was total hospital bill before the insurance). Please follow the link if you would like to read it:
http://www.thesuburbanite.com/news/business/x1972886408/Memorials-for-children

3 weeks later

Today would be Chandler's due date - October 7, 2009. It is my father's birthday too.

I cannot believe that Chandler was born and left us 3 WEEKS AGO! I feel like it was just yesterday. I am looking at his pictures every day and I am so happy that I have them. It helps me to remember every moment we spent together.. I will never forget when doctor said that Chandler is here and everyone became so quite.. Two seconds later Chandler started crying, not for long but he did. They called Tom to meet him. Minute later Tom ran back to me to say that he is alive but very weak. He left again and come back with our beautiful Chandler in his hands and said, " I have somebody I want to introduce you to". I will never forget this moment. I was so happy that I started crying..

These 3 weeks were very hard for our family. With losing Chandler, my c-section recovery, we got another news - Tom's cousin passed away last Wednesday. He had a kidney and prostate transplant a day before Chandler's funeral. He was waiting for it for a year. Everything went great. His doctor was very happy with the results. Everyone was saying that he was like brand new person, talking, joking, giving hugs.. He got really sick on Monday, they took him for another surgery and he did not make it.. Tom is so heartbroken. His cousin Rick was 12 years older than Tom but they used to spend a lot of time together than they were kids.

So we had calling hours this Sunday and funeral this Monday. My Mom came too and I can tell how hard it was on her because of my brother (who died on October 22, 2007 due to car accident) and Chandler. So three mothers (Tom's Aunt, my Mom and I) who just lost their sons, we had a very nice and heartbreaking conversation about our losses and the only hope we have that one day we will meet our boys in Heaven and we all will be finally happy together.

All this time I was asking myself what God is testing me for by loosing Chandler. I think I found the answer.. I was so scared of death and even funerals, but not anymore. Now, I want to enjoy every moment I have on Earth with the people I love and will love, but one day, when it is the time, I am going to be happy to leave this world and join people I love in Heaven. I love you Chandler!

I know that God is with Chandler

You know how you plan and plan something, and it still will not go as you planned.. This was not the case with Chandler. I know that God was all way with us, helping us every moment and every step..
Since July I was told that I can have Chandler any time, so I had my hospital bag packed and I brought a lot of towels and clothes to change in case my water brakes at work. But it did not happen, because God knew that it was not a time..
My husband Tom had a big day of new stadium opening at the University he works at on September 12, so we were nervous that Chandler will come around this day, and he did not..
On Friday, September 11, my Mom told us that she has to be with us during the delivery, so she left Russia on Saturday to be here on Monday. On Monday, first time during whole pregnancy, I had a bad pain on my left side, and I was thinking that Chandler is coming. I prayed God to give me few more hours so my Mom could be here (she was flying in at 9.40 pm), and he did! Pain went away and did not come back until next morning..
My Mom told me that she had never had such a wonderful trip, train, planes everything was on time, not to mention that she could buy tickets day before her departure and all of them were available and she had great sits. Plane came to Cleveland hour earlier and Tom was already there! She could fall a sleep at 11.00 pm and woke up at 8.0o am as she was living with us for a while (sometimes time change adjustment takes about a week or so). So by Wednesday, she was all rested and ready to meet her first Grandson!
We came to the hospital 2 hours before the c-section as we were told. Nurse told us that they are never on time because there is always some emergency c-section. But, you know what, they were on time!
Chandler was such and joy and Miracle! I told you how many things he accomplished and give us every opportunity to enjoy him!
Tom and I were nervous about the day of funeral (September 24). Tom planned everything, I was not participating in any arrangements, we did discuss it at home but I trusted him with everything! And you know what, we had the most beautiful service!
They were calling for rain this day. I was upset about it because we had a service in the cemetery. But rain did not come! We had cloudy and very warm and pleasant day! We had about 70 -80 people during the service: family, friends, co-workers. Our photographer sent us Chandler's pictures, so we had a chance to print one out so everyone could see how beautiful our son is! Tom opened the ceremony and he said the most wonderful speech Father can tell his Son. He had to stop few times because of tears and it made is even more sensitive and precious. He had a dream after Chandler died that he is at the end of the tunnel and his Mom (she passed away on April 22, 2008) was waiting for him and handsome man staying next to her. Tom did not know who this man was but his Mom told him that this is our Son Chandler. She told him that Chandler will take him further. Tom said that he woke up so happy because he knows that that one day we will meet our son again. He woke me up and told me this story..
After Tom finished his speech, our Pastor took guitar and played the most beautiful song Becca sent me - Precious Child. As soon as I heard this Son, I could not even imaging any other song for Chandler's funeral. Tom told Pastor about this song two nights before the funeral and he managed to learn it on his guitar!! He added few words to make it for Chandler and it was so wonderful that I could not stop crying!! He said that he will record it for me on CD, so I will post it as soon as I have it.
All together, Chandler's funeral was just beautiful. Yes, it was a sad day for us, as his parents, but it was beautiful at the same time.
One thing I forgot to mention is how many cards and flowers we got. I got cards from some people from work I hardly know. I work for multinational company, so my boss told me that people from many different countries called and ask him to forward they sympathies. I am so touched..
Thanks all of you for your support and prayers! I truly believe that all of you helped us during this difficult time and we really appreciate it.
I love you all!
Lena
P.S. This is another picture I adore of Chandler. I feel like he is looking right at my eyes and trying to tell me something!

Let me introduce you Chandler Thomas Kemp

He is our beautiful little boy!

Chandler's Picutres - Maternity Pictures

I do not have Chandler's pictures on the Earth yet, but I have few pictures I wanted to share when him and I were inseparable..